Is being a good husband and father mean subordinating yourself to the good of the family as a unit, always?  It seems to me, an expert on neither being a father or husband, that to be the best on both fronts is to truly give yourself to each.  To totally lose yourself in the perfection of the things that makes one a better husband and a better father.  But for me there arises a contradiction.  If there are times that I choose myself over being a husband or a father, am I now not being a good husband or father?  The answer is simple by choosing to participate in an activity or do something for myself, I am not being the best husband or father that I can be!!  But this is not set in stone. 

The surety of that previous statement is only ephemeral in its nature.  Because we are made up of at least two spheres.  These spheres occupy our minds and create the whole that is our personhood.  So my other sphere speaks up, it is the side that does not anchor itself in the concreteness of reality.  This sphere or part of my mind, which is always swirling with thoughts of doubts, fear, and what I believe are truths, feels that I need to be an individual to be the best father and husband that I can be.  It has been a slow day at the office and I think way too much.